The Forbidden Fruit

тнεѕε violεит dεligнтѕ наvε violεит εиdѕ, аиd iи тнεія тяіυмрн diε, liкε fiяε aиd powdεя, wніcн аѕ тнεу кіѕѕ...coиѕυмε... ♥ ◦ ■ ◊ ○ ♫


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Stanford College, California: Haven't seen you in a while

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"Just make stuff up," Dean suggested, shrugging, "She'll never know your lying." He honestly did not understand how it could be so complicated. It was simple enough. Surely all Sam had to do was tell her that their dad was missing and that he would hopefully be back in a few days. Not that Dean really wanted him to go back. He liked having him around, and it was a pleasant change from it being just Dean and his dad when Sam went off to college. Though it was not like he would say any of this to Sam. He was clearly happier at college, and Dean didn't have the heart to drag him out of that. He wouldn't want too.

"What does she want to know about, anyway?" he asked, looking over at Sam with a small frown.

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Sam hesitated, stopping the typing. "Well just... stuff. When I swore not to tell her anything, I thought that it might be easier if... I didn't tell her about you or dad."

Why did he had to say that? Now it would probably start up another argument. Dean would corner him and try to ask why he was cutting them out of this life, or he would start thinking that he didn't want to be a part of their family any more. "I mean we never even talk any more... and I wanted to avoid her trying to get us back..." he sighed. "I just didn't want her finding out anything. I didn't even know where you went. Maybe it was a bad idea, us not calling any more. But I was starting to think that the less I thought of you and talked about you, it would make it easier if... you never called me... again."

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Dean looked away from Sam, frowning slightly at the words, leaning back in the seat. His grip around the steering wheel tightened ever so slightly, his eyes not leaving the road.

"So that's how you really feel about us, huh?" said Dean, his voice a little subdued, as he took it in, glancing over at Sam and then looking away, "You hated it that much?"

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"It's not like that." said Sam. "I just didn't want to have to try to answer all the questions that came with it - why don't I talk to you, why don't you make up, why can't you just get along? When I left I was just angry and tired... And I didn't come along to make up with you, okay? I came so we could find dad."

He rubbed his head again as his headache irritated him further.

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Sam's words cut into Dean like razors. Of course Sam didn't come up to make up with him, he already knew that. But he was half hoping that finding dad would give them an excuse to put aside their differences, though it was not like they really had many. It was not him that had told Sam to leave and never come back, he was merely stuck in the middle of the two of them, however reluctantly.

Dean nodded stiffly, looking darkly at the road, lips pressed together tightly, "Yeah, yeah, I get it. As soon as this is over you'll be back to pretending that me and dad never existed, living that perfect apple pie life you always dreamed of."

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Sam watched Dean, ridden with guilt. He hadn't meant to say it. Dean had had him up to there with irritation and annoyance. He was family and he shouldn't have just burst out like that.

"Dean, I'm sorry." he tried, lamely at apologizing, wishing he could take it all back, but it wasn't like he could just delete it...

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Now Sam was doing the puppy dog eyes at him, looking as if he was feeling guilty. His apology felt empty to Dean, who ignored it.

"I preferred you when you were asleep," Dean groaned, as he felt the eyes continueing to bore into the side of his head. He rubbed the back of his neck, keeping his eyes on the road ahead and pointedly not looking at Sam. He reached forward to turn up Led Zeppelin, unsure of whether he really wanted to talk to Sam any futher.

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Sam couldn't concentrate on his work now. He hadn't wanted to talk to Dean, and he'd got it. But if felt like crap. He finished the rest of the coffee and didn't throw the cups out the window like Dean probably would. Wow, how he wished things could be different a lot of the time. But the truth was, they weren't. They were like this, and that was it.

"What did you expect? To just come in and find that I wanted to be best friends again? I'm sorry, but, things have changed... I can't... do this kind of thing with Jess. I can't let her into this life."

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Dean shook his head, "I wasn't asking you to... I just..." Dean frowned, trailing off, looking into the distance, "I just thought with dad missing and everything we could try to get along. I didn't expect to come back and find you'd cut us off completely."

Dean pursed his lips, keeping his eyes on the road, faltering slightly, "I know dad said some pretty awful stuff back when you left, but we're your family, dude. You could have mentioned us to her. Would that really have been so bad? You could always have left all the supernatural stuff out of it."

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"Yeah." Sam mumbled. There wasn't really an excuse for this. He'd made a decision, and he couldn't even keep it to himself.

He shut the laptop, unable to actually read any more as the pain increased. He pinched the bridge of his nose, shutting his eyes tightly. "God..." he moaned.

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Dean continued stareing resolutely at the road, not bothering to take much notice of Sam. He still feeling a bit hurt by the admission that Sam wanted him out of his life completely, and there was not really anything he could say to make that better.

Dean glanced over when her heard a pained moan from Sam's side of the car. He looked like he was in pretty bad pain, his eyes scrunched up, in what looked like the be the beginning of a headache, or migraine. Dean pulled the car over, perhaps a little too suddenly as it gave a violent lurch when it came to a stand still. He reached out with one hand to turn the music off, looking at Sam with concern riddled eyes.

"Sammy?" he called softly, reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder, their argument earlier completely forgotten, "Are you alright?"

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Sam took a minute or so to reply. This wasn't the first time he'd had a headache this intense, but recently it had been coming over more and more. "Yeah." he muttered in reply, keeping his eyes shut.

And then he saw Jess again. Sam let out a small whimper. She was just like before, exactly the same. He opened his eyes. Why couldn't that nightmare just stay out of his head? How could he remember it so clearly? Jess was fine. She was perfectly, fine. "I'm okay. Just a headache." He glanced around. "Why did you stop? I've had headaches before."

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"You just zoned out for a minute there," Dean said, a little wide eyed and confused, freaked out over Sam's mini blackout thing, his hand not having left his shoulder, "Is this a new thing? You didn't used to get headaches much. Are you sure you're alright?"

Dean frowned, thinking it over, "It's probably got something to do with you still not having got any sleep. Do I really need to drug you to get you to get some?"

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"Probably." he replied. "Unless you're going to let me get some decent coffee that's not caffeine free."

The headache seemed to be easing off now. "Thanks for, being concerned for me, but right now, we've really gotta get to spoons, and find dad." he tried to change the subject back away from him. Sam wasn't the one they needed to worry about right now.

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"It'll be hours till we get there," Dean answered, shaking his head at Sam, his features creased, "And seeing as I'm driving you might as well get some sleep. That way we can get right on it when we get there, and not mess around with you fainting or whatever from lack of sleep."

Dean peered at Sam's face. He looked exhausted, bags under his eyes and everything. He'd obviously been stretched to his limit, and it was starting to look like Dean was going to have to do something.

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Sam didn't listen. "No, I'm going to be okay. And I don't want you doing things to me again." He was getting impatient now. "Can we just go already?"

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Dean rolled his eyes, "Just get in the back of the car already," Dean leaned over Sam, and grabbed the door handle, opening it, and giving Sam a light shove, "I'm not going to do anything to you. Truce, remember? And I'm not having you putting dad's life in danger cause you're too stubborn to get any sleep."

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"Fine." said Sam, stubbornly getting out of the front and getting in the back. He knew he was being unreasonable about this. Dean was right - Dad's life would be in danger if he was tired. So much for getting that paper done...

"Wake me up when you get to somewhere that sells Asprin." he muttered, before lying down on the seats.

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Dean pulled the door shut after Sam got out, relieved at how easy that had been. He had been expecting Sam to kick up a fuss, as per usual, but apparantly he really did need it.

"I think I've got some Asprin in the trunk," Dean said, glancing back at Sam, a little tired himself, but glad that Sam had finally seen reason, "Do you want me to get it for you?"

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"As long as you don't switch it with drugs - yeah, that would be great thanks." said Sam, making his painful puppy face, staring at the roof of the car.

"How many hours to Spoons?" he called out, not having his mind straight at all.

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Dean got out of the car, and walked towards the trunk, looking through the myriad of bags for the first aid kit. He briefly considered getting out the sleeping pills instead of the asprin, but decided against it. Sam would kill him if he found out that he'd put him in an artificially induced sleep.

"About another 10 hours if I drive fast, Dean answered, as he came up by door by Sam, and opened it, passing the asprin and a bottle of water through, not bothering to correct him about the name.

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"Thanks." he muttered, taking the pills and water. He wondered at first if Dean had really drugged him, but there was only pain relief and no drowsiness - that was artificial anyway.

He sighed, hoping that he wouldn't have another nightmare about Jess, as he let his eyes shut.

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Dean watched as Sam's eyes closed, and a ghost of a smile played across his face. He crossed over to the door by the drivers seat, and got in, turning the music on with the volume way down low, so that it would not wake up Sam. Satisfied, he put the car into drive, and drove back onto the road, humming along to 'Stairway to Heaven'.

Sam looked like he was sleeping, when Dean checked the rear-view mirror, the water bottle hanging loosely in his hand. The space was obviously too small for him to adequately stretch out, though it had been for the both of them for several years now. Dean looked away, eyes back on the road. Looking at Sam sleeping was making him feel sleepy, and they were going to be driving for a long time, so sleepiness was the last thing he needed.

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Several hours later Sam was still in the same awkward position. He was slightly awake for random thoughts to be cropping up in his head like wondering what Jess would be up to today - probably shopping with her friends. And then there was that paper he hadn't done - the teacher would have his head for that.

How Dean was still awake, Sam would never know. He hadn't even had any caffeine that Sam knew of. Maybe he had stopped... who knew. He rubbed his forehead again. The pain seemed to be coming back, and moaned slightly, not wanting to be awake again.

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Dean glanced up in the rear-view mirror, when he heard Sam moaning in the back. He turned his head around and saw that Sam was slowly coming to. Though if the noises he was making were anything to go by, he wasn't feeling so good.

"I think you dropped the asprin on the floor," Dean supplied, as it became apparent that Sam was waking up, and his headache was coming back as well, "We're almost half way to Forks, you'll be pleased to hear."

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